Sometimes life can be cruel in ways which are almost beyond comprehension. An upcoming occasion which will be one of the happiest and most joyous days for one son will also cause my other son to feel both bittersweet happiness and a heightened sense of loss and grief. And I will feel for both of them, knowing what they are both experiencing.

I am reeling from what my son told me tonight, and my heart aches for him. I would give anything to take away the pain he is feeling, and the guilt he has been unjustly placing on himself. He is one of the strongest people I know, but tonight he is my baby boy who is hurting and crying and unloading the burden he has been carrying by himself for the past three months. I would give anything to be able to hold him in my arms again and make things okay.

This is the absolute worst kind of pain.


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