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My Road to Becoming a Grooby Girl – Part 1

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Trans Model and Grooby Girl Becca Benz! Trans Model and Grooby Girl Becca Benz!

Note: This was originally post on my old blog on 3/8/15

The fact that I’m a porn model is nothing short of miraculous, and how that came to be is equally mind-boggling. Never could I have imagined that I would be doing this, let alone loving it and enjoying some measure of success.

Even as recently as a year ago I was very shy and introverted and lacking in self-confidence, and I hated having my picture taken because I was so insecure about myself and my looks. Granted, since transitioning I could finally look in the mirror and be content with what I saw, but I was still a long way from actually feeling good about how I looked, and I continued to be uncomfortable about receiving compliments, especially about my looks. I was still struggling to accept myself and figure out where I fit in the world.

Then I moved to Portland in the summer of 2014, and that decision literally changed my life. One of my goals in moving here was to go out and meet people and create a social life, which is something I’ve never had. And I did it. I put aside my fears and ventured out, and started making friends and realized that I could do this. I was moving past all my insecurities and fears and I no longer dreaded being out in social situations. I actually enjoyed meeting people and making friends, and I discovered people were actually interested in who I was and what I had to say. It was quite a revelation when I realized this because for most of my life I felt like no one was interested in anything about me, and I always felt very awkward in social situations. But now I loved being out and about meeting new people! Who could have imagined that I’d blossom into a social butterfly!

The other main reason for moving to Portland was because there were so many more job opportunities available here. There are a lot of colleges and universities in this area and since I had previously worked 11 years at a university I felt very optimistic about my chances of landing a job here.

So I began applying for jobs here and started getting some interviews. In the summer of 2014 I had four interviews one particular week; one at a university, one with the public school system, and I had two interviews with a non-profit organization. I felt like I could have done better at the university interview, but the other three interviews I nailed, especially the initial and follow-up interviews with the non-profit. And I tend to be very critical of how I perform at job interviews, so for me to feel so good says a lot. A large part of why I felt so good about the interviews was because my level of self-confidence was higher than it had been in a long, long time because of my new-found social life, which translated into my interviews. The non-profit job was working in fundraising and development, which I had 10 years’ experience doing. One of my duties when I worked at the university was managing a non-profit organization with over 500 members, and I was solely responsible for all fundraising and development activities. I was more than qualified for that job, and I nailed both interviews, yet I did not receive a job offer and was told there was a more qualified candidate. While I realize I’m not the only person struggling to find a decent job and that there are always a lot of qualified applicants for each job opening, and I certainly don’t expect that I should get every job I interview for, I felt very strongly that I should have gotten that job. And while I hate to use the fact that I’m trans as an excuse for not getting a job, there reaches a point when it becomes hard to ignore and to not to feel like it is a factor. And not getting this job was a slap in the face which left me feeling like no matter what I did or how qualified I was or how well I interviewed I would never get a normal job in mainstream society.

That was a turning point and led me to rethink my job search strategy. I felt like I could no longer continue to apply for regular jobs in my chosen career field because being trans was too much of an obstacle to overcome. I was tired of putting so much effort into searching for jobs and making absolutely no progress. Enough was enough.

I know I have a very good resume and cover letter because I’ve gotten input from several professionals over the years and received a lot of compliments about them from interviewers. I specifically tailor my resume and cover for each job I apply for to best reflect my skills and qualifications for that particular job. I do my research prior to the interview, learning about the company and who will be interviewing me. I have good interviewing skills; I know how to dress and how to present myself and how to best emphasize my skills and qualifications and market myself so that I will be viewed as a potential asset to that company. I know to establish a connection with the interviewers to show I’m personable and would be a good fit at their company. I send out a thank you note, and follow-up after the interview. I do everything I can within my power to ensure I have the best chance of having a successful interview and receiving a job offer. But the one thing I cannot change the fact that I am transgender, and there is little I can do to combat people’s prejudices and fears about transgender people aside from representing myself in a professional and dignified manner during the interview.

So, my new strategy was to find businesses or industries where being trans was not looked upon as a negative or as a liability. And after doing some research it soon became apparent that the adult entertainment industry fit my criteria, so that is where I decided to focus my efforts.

Little did I know that I was about to embark on the journey of a lifetime!

To be continued in Part 2

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4 comments

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  1. sissy shemantha

    Love, love, LOVE your story so far. Exactly what i want and hope to accomplish. Help me please, Please, PLEASE. sissy shemantha

  2. Becca Benz

    Thank you so much for the comment, and I’m glad you liked the post! I’m always happy to help, so feel free to contact me if you want to chat or have any questions 🙂

  3. sissy shemantha

    Eant to be a Goorby girl so badly!!! 😊😊😊👧

    1. Becca Benz

      You can do it! Just read Steven’s blog to learn how, and see how it goes! Good luck! 🙂

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